When I Knew You Were Going Away Tomorrow
I got the call mid-morning while I was heads-down in work. I almost didn’t pick-up the phone because I had just a few minutes of research left before I was in a spot where I could take a break, but I noticed it was Edward’s home number — a number I had known for almost 40 years. “Mr. Doran!”, I said, expecting to get some shit for missing the last SJA get-together and trying to prompt me to do what it takes to make it to the next one. Natch. He told me Deanna was going away tomorrow, forever. I won’t go into detail about my disbelief and how many times I insisted he had the wrong information before finally accepting that he wasn’t yanking my dick and that she was indeed leaving us all tomorrow to be with her parents. Point is, eventually I “got there” mentally.
It’s times like these that make me hate being an adult. I had to call friends to get my kids picked up, message customers that I would be unavailable, call my wife for a ride down to the hood (since I would be too unsafe on my own) and other small things. Every second of prep sped by at the speed of our expanding universe… I couldn’t catch my breath! She was leaving and I was calling stupid customers and loading random shit into my car. I had pictures of us somewhere, a signed yearbook… did I have an old SJA uniform shirt that I could jokingly squeeze into? Fuck it. Take it all and sort it out on the way.
The drive down was miserable. Traffic (for a change) wasn’t too bad but closing the gap between here and there gave me too much time to think about what I might say, and other things. I hadn’t showered yet nor shaved for days. I bet it would be busy down there — news like this travels fast and Deanna was not short on friends. The locals had the advantage. If only I had had two days’ notice, amirite? Crikey.
As expected, there was no place nearby where we could park so my hunny-bunny double parked and of all things I grabbed the toolbox from the back of the van. Don’t ask me why, I haven’t a clue but it worked out in my favor. “I may be a while. Actually, I’m sure one of the SJA crew will drive me home”. Kerri asked if I wanted anything else out of the van. I wanted all of it (just in case) but seeing the crowd, there was just no way. So I grabbed a box labeled “old stuff”, gave her a kiss, and watched her motor off.
Now what? A box of unknowns in one hand and a toolbox in the other, I headed toward the line of people outside her house. I knew Deanna would give each person the time they wanted and with this mob I was more likely to get front row seats at Monsters Of Rock showing up 15 minutes early to the boxoffice. No way. I’m not normally a cheater but this was different and if I had to, I’d go to Confession later. I decided to just walk past everybody and hope that no one would say anything. That got me about three beyond the end of the line before a well-meaning cholo noticed the bullshit I was attempting and stopped me. Note: I’m a suburbanite now and this kat could have easily made a proper example out of me. But he didn’t. I said, “Hey man, the AC is broken and with so many people in there, it’s unbearable. I’m gonna fix it”. He saw a twitch in my cheek, a tremble in my lips, and my eyes welled up. He’s no dummy — He knows I’m full of shit but senses my urgency is greater than his. Not because of *my* urgency but because, I think, he knew there was something bigger going on and I had to be there. This motherfucker, and I’ll never forget is face, looked me up and down for a couple of long seconds and made a judgment, and then he led the way for me. “Look out folks, AC is out and this guy needs to get it fixed right now”. A few guys didn’t quite buy it but he was all, “Move, fool, he needs to get in!”. They bought it! Or at least, they had bought it long enough for me to get in through the side door before any real grumbling began. I never did catch that guy’s name but if he’s reading this, he needs to get in touch so I can give a proper thanks.
Turns out I wasn’t so creative after all. As I got in the side door which led to the kitchen, I see Edward in his scrubs, Manny with cameras wrapped around his neck, Mino with his jumpsuit, David’s badge and gun, and so many other SJA crew who managed to “pursuade” their ways in. Each of us peeked around the corner where Deanna was sitting, surrounded by her sons and daughters and, what the heck!?!? Tanya and Kendi and Teresa were already in there! They didn’t need a disguise or a side entrance… they just gave the look they needed and walked past everybody. They’re lovely girls but I wouldn’t mess with a one of them at game time.
We sheepishly all rounded the corner together, rather than waiting for one-at-a-time, and Deanna greeted us with hugs, the kind only she can give and the kind that makes you remember. When it came to me I still had that box and my toolbox. In a mock serious way she asked, “Are you here to fix my fridge, Thomas?”. “No”, I said, “I’m here to fix your air conditioner”. “I don’t have an air conditioner, Thomas”. Then she let that smile break through and gave me an equal portioned hug.
We all gathered in a circle and talked about the times of our youth together. We laughed so much. Lord did we laugh and we all felt so filled with the joy of the moment. The clock was ticking but we didn’t notice it. The people outside were getting restless but Deanna wasn’t as important to them as she was to us. She gave us all the time she had left and it was time for her to go. We had already done our pleading for her to stay but resigned ourselves to the inevitable. We had a final, best memory of her that we could have. No regrets.
Police and lawyers say that two witnesses to the same crime often report completely different sets of events. Each witness is well-meaning and telling the truth as they recall it. A certain confabulation (look it up, bitches) sets in. And this is how I remember it.
“What about the box, Thomas?!?!? What was in the box?”. I promise it was a glorious memory that we’ll each cherish. I’m so glad I brought it along. Ask me about it the next time we see each other.
I love you, SJA crew. I’ll miss you Deanna.
-tom