Tom's Garage

Disneyland Part 2

Tom — Sun, 11 May 2008 23:21:59 -0700

Ben woke up ~10am and seemed to be feeling much better so we coordinated with Kerri to hookup at the Monorail entrance in Downtown Disney. By the time we got into the park he was like a new boy (we should have gone on the Pinocchio ride first!).

Lines were short so we got through a ton of rides in fairly short order. By 2-ish we decided to head back to the hotel and get some swim time in. There's a small water slide at the hotel (may 100 yards long?) and after a few minutes of play time in the regular pool I went for a quick run. Next we coaxed Ben into taking a stab at it. He was tentative at first but I saw him half way down and he was loving it. Being proper spoilers we "only" let him ride it a million billion times before we had to call it quits. We had just [almost] forced Abby to go on Pirates of the Caribbean, assuring her that she would like it (which she did not) so getting her to try this "new" thing just wasn't going to happen. Perhaps next year.

After a bit of dinner we made our way back to Disneyland and hit several other rides. None of us had ever been on the Peter Pan ride so we gave it a shot and boy that was fun. 30 years of going to DLand and never once on that ride? No idea why.

While we were in line to fly away with Peter the woman in front of us asked me if she could borrow my cell phone so she could call her daughter. A minute into her conversation led to a bit of a shriek... her daughter announced that she was pregnant. The grandma-to-be was so happy! And Abby remarked, "She's the happiest person I've ever seen!". Kinda weird for a 6 year old to say such a thing but really, that was one happy bird.

Ben was pretty-well spent by this time but we went for one more pass on Autopia, thinking that we'd catch the monorail from there. Turned out that it was too close to fireworks time so we ended up walking back to the hotel. And even better -- I apparently left my cell phone at the Autopia ride. When I got back to the hotel I realized it was missing so I kept calling it with Kerri's phone and finally one of the employees answered. Thank goodness they answered because I never would have guessed that it had been left inside the park. I'll get it back in the morning.

About ready to crash but looking forward to some early access to the parks before we call this weekend "done".

Mother's Day At Disneyland

Tom — Sun, 11 May 2008 09:36:04 -0700

I'm sitting here in the Paradise Pier Hotel at Disneyland in SoCal for our Mother's Day weekend. We got down here Saturday evening so we could wake up fresh and head straight to the park this morning.

Last night we bummed around Downtown Disney for a while and ate dinner at the Rainforest Cafe followed by a trip to Haagen Dazs for ice cream before returning to the hotel. At 9:30-ish we jammed down to the pool area where you can see the fireworks from across the way at Disneyland proper. And then upstairs for bed. But not so fast...

Ben indicated that his "tummy" hurt but since he says that quite a bit when there's something he doesn't want to do I didn't pay too much attention. A few minutes later he, his special pillow and blanket and a good portion of the bed were filled with vomit. Woohoo! We cleaned him up and I called down to the front desk to get some new linens. I was a bit embarrassed when making the call but the girl at the front desk did not seem surprised at all so it must not be too uncommon.

I figured it was the excess junk food and his jumping around that had caused the episode so I didn't think much of it. He seemed to feel okay when we woke up but two minutes after a few small sips of water he was competing in the cookie toss again (not much left in him to come up). We tried it again a bit later with the same result.

No need for Kerri and Abby to hang around and watch him feel sick so they're off to the theme park. Kerri called to let me know that they got to sit with the driver of the Monorail into the park which sounds pretty cool.

I'm sure it'll still be a nice Mother's Day because while Kerri might want both kids with her, there is a separate kind of fun to be had with just Mom and her first born -- There's no boys to wreck things for her and no battles over what ride to queue up for next.

Ben is sleeping things off a bit and I've ordered an over-priced bagel to be delivered to our room. At least I've got my EVDO connection to help pass the time (there's only so much Disney Channel this overgrown kid can take). Sure they have in-room broadband but it's a bit of a hassle and requires everything to be proxied through them and they're restrictive on ports (or I'm an idiot and can't figure out SSH through their system).

[...Interruption for room service delivery...]

I should note that in addition to the bagel I ordered a couple of beers. I know it's morning time but I'm on the 10th floor and y'all know that Tom doesn't like being in tall buildings so I need to take the edge off. $10 per beer (Bud Light!), delivered. Apparently for another dollar they'll drink them for me too. Convenience has its price I suppose. But if I ever hear about a large group of irrational, height-challenged people visiting this place I'm gonna buy a crapload of Disney stock.

More updates later, assuming anything at all happens before we leave on Monday, aside from Ben sleeping and barfing..

Dads and Kids Camping Weekend 2008

Tom — Tue, 06 May 2008 23:44:04 -0700

Completely random brain dump but wanted to get this out before I forgot absolutely everything. Lake Piru, 2008.

Got there first this year and put my tent up in the same location as last year. It's very close to the lake and a place where the youngest kids tend to congregate (since I have a couple of them). They spent quite a long time jumping from air mattress to air mattress inside (because I don't sleep on the dirt anymore). Lots of crappy snacks and dirt in there but we;ll worth the trade-off since I always know where my kids are.

Brother Pat and neighbor Matt show up next and begin putting their stuff together. Then the troops start filing in. Dave Ely came up to get camp setup though he'd have to leave (but he'd re-arrive the next day without having the hassle of setting things up) and come back the next day with Jonathan. Folks began packing in and before too long there were tents all over the perimeter with a spacious, err, space in the middle.

The wind thought it could take Dave's tent before it was staked and it almost did but we're seasoned campers and we won the day!

Matt brought his backyard BBQ. The full propane, stainless, 6 burner BBQ. We're not slumming this year. 2KW generator too. But we're still camping because there's no cell coverage.

I stopped on the way to pickup wood from a local mass wood vendor and spent $20 on a crapload of long-seasoned, quality wood. Matt bought a bunch of similar and with others bringing theirs, we had to take some home for the first time that I can remember.

Kids had a great time running around the campground and down to the lake and since we had the "group campsite" we didn't have to worry about outside traffic. Cousins and friends all played together.

Ben and Lucas decided it would be a good idea to look down the barrel of Darin's pellet gun. No one is blind.

Megan skipped past some Stinging Nettle and it caught her ankle. She's always been a trooper and a bit of Benadryl cream set her straight. Pat walked her back to point out what had nailed her so she knows to avoid it in the future. My guess is, she will.

Dinner was not a big deal on the first night but everyone was able to use any one of four BBQs or stoves along with roasting over the fire. I had to get up at 6am so I could take Abby back to town for her last softball game of the season. Gone by 7:15am and back by noon.

Older kids want to do their own thing but are always careful of the little ones (I won't speak to the middle kids' fates). I was shocked (shocked!) and how respectful they were and how aware of the little ones when things wanted to get crazy. Bravo teenagers.

Kent's daughter Katie is nearly a master camper already (before me!?!). She's an asset to the crew and can be relied on to pull off any camp duty, without complaint. I'll watch Kent and Abby will need to watch Katie and we'll be golden soon.

No boats this year -- Or so we thought! Some weird fresh water mussel is spreading across the local lake and if your boat was wet, you could not get in and our main boat was wet (from rain but who would buy that story?). But Chris Johnson's boat was dry so he got in and saved the weekend (for boating).

Chris piloted the boat most of Saturday and Sunday so all kids got multiple rides. He F'in rocks and basically gave up his weekend for the rest of us. Makes me want to buy Epogen.

Abby went on the "pull toy" for the first time and got dumped at some point. I almost dove in after her but Chris tells me to hang on and let her float... he'd be there before I could swim to her. Abby did great but the water was 59 degrees so she chilled pretty quickly and preferred not to go in again. Big milestone for Abs.

Went on a "nature walk" with Jonathan Ely, looking for deer and toads. He "Pied Pipered" the little kids with his factoids. Plenty of toads but didn't run into any deer this year. No snakes either!

Couple of old pals from Camp Emerald Bay, Catalina came this year: Dave Sander and Dean Ellis. Haven't seen Dean in 20 years. Still good guys. Dave gave me a copy of his book which is on deck for this weekend as a read.

Pat gets hassled by everyone and their mother over his wins at the Emerald Bay Tri-athalon. Everyone thinks they can beat him but so far only Pat can pee without toilet paper.

Johnboy fed my kids most meals like the good uncle he is. Most of the food I brought went home with me while the kids leeched off uncle John. I've taught them well. Most of my food came from the master campers (Matt, Darin, Kent, Chris).

Was down to the last 4 adults on Sunday but had to leave because kids were finished by sun, softball and water. Last year I was the last family to go by an hour.

One full picnic table of crap (tshirts, fishing poles, oven mitts, tie-downs, tent covers, blah) that was left behind from others that we tried to sort out. I have stuff from several siblings (rookies!) that I have to return, just like last year. When will they ever learn? Of course, I'd be in the same spot if I had left earlier, but that's not the point.

Left the campsite cleaner than when we arrived. Everyone did their part and the last few did a final walk to get the itsty bits. Fruit Loops on the ground left for the birds... it's their natural food!

There was much more but that's all my brain can return atm.

Out From Under The Woodpile, For Good Reason

Tom — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 16:18:15 -0700

I've not posted in a very long time, mostly because I've been too busy but also because I've not had that "fire" for a while. Today my daughter stoked the coals a bit by a simple (but still remarkable) gesture. She got her hair cut in order to donate to other kids who may have none (due to Chemotherapy, etc.). I was just so proud of her due to all of her courage, sense of giving and ability to adapt. I'm really proud of her and grateful that she sees that others are less fortunate than us.

Donated to: beautifullengths.com

Way to go Abs!

Couple Of Cool Things I Noticed In San Diego

Tom — Sat, 30 Jun 2007 13:04:48 -0700

I forgot about a couple of simple yet cool things I noticed while in San Diego. Many parents may already know about these bits but they were new to me, so here goes:

1. There was a group of kids at Lego Land that were all part of a birthday party. They were all wearing custom yellow (read: easy to spot) shirts with the birthday info on them. One could easily get a head count and if one of the kids got lost, the park employees would know exactly which group they belonged to. Of course, "yellow" may become the favorite for parents and too many of them would defeat the purpose. But the custom info on the shirt was a really good idea. We write our cell phone numbers on our kids' arms or shoes so if they get lost an adult will know how to reach us. But we also dressed Ben in camouflage shorts so finding him might not be as easy. I've said it many times: I'm much more of a butter knife than a steak knife, if you know what I mean. If you don't know what I mean, you're a butter knife too.

You can go to CafePress.com and create your own shirts and have them delivered in mere days. And no, I do not get a cut of your purchase price... they're just easy. There are surely other services out there too but this one rolled off my tiny little brain.

2. Baggies: If you have a cell phone or a camera or some other electronic device, it might be smart to carry a little plastic baggie to protect those devices, *if* you plan on going on any of the water rides or sitting in the "soak zone" at Sea World. You WILL get wet so the only question is, to what degree. Be prepared (yes, I was a scout) and save yourself time and money by protecting your investment(s) with an inexpensive protective bag. I have a couple hundred in the house and would be happy to mail you one if needed (if you take me up on this offer, you're one cheap bastard!).

I'm sure I noticed other things but these two obvious bits stood out to me and might be useful to you. That'll be a nickel.

Our Family Vacation In San Diego

Tom — Sat, 30 Jun 2007 10:13:31 -0700

Our vacation this year was to be rather short and not too far from home. We traveled all the way from Thousand Oaks to Carlsbad (appx 2.5 hour drive) where our hotel was located and ventured as far as San Diego proper for one of our outings.

Our hotel accommodations were nice enough; A two bedroom unit with a kitchen and family room area. The staff were pleasant though not overly helpful. I really only have two complaints: 1) Check-in time was 5pm and check-out time was 10am. I'm not shittin you folks, that was the real deal... something I didn't know about in advance (my own fault, I'm sure). Please re-read the check-in/out times again. Insane, huh? And 2) Their marketing material was a bit misleading as to our access to Lego Land. It stated "Private Entrance to Lego Land". Being that the hotel was directly across the street from the Lego Land parking lot, I would have guessed a little overpass we could walk across and get right in or perhaps their shuttle would drop us at a location where our private, exclusive access could be utilized. Not so. The "private entrance" was the minivan's (their shuttle) ability to not have to go through the parking line to pay for, you know, parking. We got dropped off about as far away as one could be from the real entrance and then proceeded to get in line with all of the other ticket holders. I'm all for creative marketing but that was a bit more than one should bear. No big deal though... I'm a man of the people so it was fine mingling with every other waiting-to-be-disappointed family in the regular line.

Lego Land: This was a tough one because we had kids ranging in ages from 3 to 15 years old. My guess is, it would have been great if we had a few 6-8 year old kids. Ben was two inches too short to go on many of the rides and he didn't understand that very well. As far as he was concerned, I was punishing him by not letting him go on rides that his sister and the other kids could go on. It seemed a bit crazy in most circumstances -- He couldn't go on their equivalent of Disneyland's Tea Cups though he's been riding the DLand ones since before he was two. Whatever... I'm sure the policy has the child's best interest in mind, or their insurance carrier had influence or something like that.

I guess I was expecting a bit more based on commercials I had seen and their ticket pricing. They basically charged Disneyland prices for everything and operated more like a mobile carnival.

I'm sure y'all think that I'm a bitter little troll with nothing good to say about anything or someone who simply cannot be pleased but I'm just stating the facts (with a small twist of bitterness). But fear not because our second outing has nothing but good news and fun times to describe...

Sea World: I'll start with: Great! Fun. Exceeded expectations. I'm a native Southern California guy so you might be shocked to know that in my 36 years on this rock I had never been to Sea World. I was feeling a bit like Eeyore as we lined up to get our tickets, given the hotel and Lego Land experiences. But before we entered the park I was heartened to see a sign which indicated that all military and/or their direct families were welcome to enter Free Of Charge! Go Sea World Go! I see discounts for military families from time to time but these folks (owned by Anheuser-Busch) really stepped up to do their part for those who make us safe and risk EVERYTHING to do so. My spirits were beginning to lift and I was preparing myself for an exciting day, more like Pooh and less like Eeyore.

Our first adventure was to be a sit-in for the Shamu show. We ventured down to the "Soak Zone" where there was a high probability that we'd get wet. I wish I had gotten soaked because it was still early and I would have known better when sitting in on the Dolphin show later in the evening. More on that later. To begin the show the emcee once again addressed the military families. He spoke of our collective thanks for their service and asked them all to stand which resulted in cheers and clapping and "woohoo!'s" from nearly every attendee. He gave us all a bit of info on "killer whales" and focused squarely on the need for conservation and the trainers' love and respect for these animals. The last piece was truly self-evident.

Next Anna, Christopher and myself took to the rapids -- Shipwreck Rapids to be precise. It was hot out so a little [fake] river spray seemed to be in order. It wasn't until we were very close to the front of the line that we could see folks getting off the ride and they weren't "wet", they were drenched. I decided to put my electronic devices in my pocket, cover that pocket with my shirt and cover *that* area with my hat. It turned out that I'd need every bit of those preventative measures to keep from having to buy a new phone and camera. To say we got wet would be like indicating that the Colorado River has had a bit of an erosive effect on the earth. We were soaked to the bone, as if someone had a fire hose aimed at us for ten or fifteen minutes. Next time I'll buy one of those cool Sea World Ponchos.

The rest of the day went swimmingly. We saw great show after great show and one awe inspiring exhibit after another. Kerri and I both love animals and we want to be sure that our kids grow up with the same respect for them that we both share and this is a great way to reinforce such a notion.

Oh yeah, that dolphin show thingy... So we did NOT get wet at the Shamu Show even though we were in the "soak zone". When I saw others getting wet it just looked like "spray" so tis time we sat in the 6th or 7th row in hopes of getting a little action. Well, along with the dolphins there were a couple of small whales trained to fling water out into the crowd with their tails. These small (2,000 pounds) whales did their jobs well and much like the Shipwreck Rapids, we got soaked to the bone. I don't know how I underestimated the volume of water so badly when choosing our seats. Abby got it the worst but really, it was like comparing a bunch of people, all of whom had been tossed into a pool with their clothes on... it was hard to tell who got the wettest and it didn't really matter. The problem was, it had gotten to be nearly 5pm and it was starting to cool down a bit so there was no hope of drying out any time soon. I had some spare clothes in a backpack for the kids (just shirts) and while Ben was fine with his wet shorts, Abby needed to get out of her denim skirt and into a fresh pair of shorts which were available for sale at a nearby shop. Us older folks just toughed it out.

Finally, Kerri and Anna took to the one big coaster in the park -- The Atlantis, I believe. I hung out with the younger kids in a play area where they climbed ropes, crawled through tunnels and went down slides. Ben didn't slide too well because, well, wet denim shorts on plastic doesn't make for a slippery environment.

A couple of closing notes: I love the fact that they sell beer at Sea World. I didn't partake of the opportunity but it's nice to know that a cold one is available when the conditions are right. And me being a smoker, it was also nice that they had a dozen or so smoking areas. I don't mind being shoved out of the way and in fact, even if I were allowed to smoke throughout the park I'd still hide away in a corner out of respect for the non-smoking adults and the kids. At Lego Land you have to leave the park if you want to smoke... not one single hideaway which just seems silly to me (it *is* outside for goodness' sake). I respect their ability to make that rule but I also won't be sending any of my dollars their way in the future... I'm sure they respect that right as well.

While there were some unexpected disappointments the trip, on the whole, it was most excellent, if only because I got to spend four quality days with my family and away from work, something I rarely get to do.

Go to Sea World and get stoked!

Oh yeah, if you have a AAA card, you get a gnarly discount at Sea World; Adults for the price of a child and children at 50% off. This one outing saved us enough money to pay for the AAA card for a couple of years. Yeah baby!

Dad's Camping Weekend -- Part II

Tom — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 21:55:49 -0700

I'm awfully late on this and because of it I'm sure I'll be missing some really good details due to memory failure.

Abby, Ben and myself were the first ones to arrive at Lake Piru (the first time we've held the annual event at this location) so I grabbed the keys to the group campsite gate and headed off to see what lay in front of us. It was a great location with the only downside being that the water was terribly low this year; We had to trek down a non-trail to get to the water for a steep but short 50 yards or so.

Pat showed up next with his kids and the two of us sorta hung out and chatted for a bit, trying to find a cool spot to construct our tents without taking the BEST sites since it seemed only fair that Matt and Darin get best picks for putting everything together (and supplying the boat!). We meandered along with our tent and camp setup, half waiting for others to arrive. It was actually quite a while before I realized that we had ZERO cell signal in the canyon so I was worried that some may have gotten lost or due to lack of communication, might have turned around. Thankfully there was an old-fashioned "pay phone" (pay phone!) which I used to hook up with a few people and assure that things were still a "go".

Once everyone was dialed in with their camp site crap (tents, sleeping bags, air mattresses for us older guys and all of the kid stuff), it was time to relax and play. We hiked around and went down to the water and cruised around the camp for a bit before settling down for a fire and some cooking. A group of kids ran into several deer while cruising but I didn't see any the very first night.

My Dad, brother Pat and myself tossed the football around for a bit with others coming in and out of play along the way. Boy, that sure reminded me of 30 years ago... it was great!

The kids ate minimal "real" food in anticipation of s'mores and boy did they love 'em. Ben kept putting marshmallows on his skewer, sticking it next to the fire for 20 seconds and then eating them. He'd supplement with chocolate once in a while but that was about it. Abigail preferred to cook but was not in to eating the things. I forget the deets of the other kids (because I've waited to long to post!) but I do recall being a little nervous with some of the younger campers running around with skewers or getting a bit too close to the fire. That's why they call me Nellie.

It was a fairly early night on Friday and I must admit, I had the best tent accommodations of the entire group. My daughter hopped into brother Joe's tent so it was just Ben and I in a tent designed to sleep 5 or more. Ahhhh... sweet, wonderful space.

I should mention that Dave's youngest son is a Boy Scout so he not only handled tent duty (for the most part) for Dave, he also took care of scary story telling for the other kids around the campfire. I forget if the stories happened on Friday or Saturday night. My daughter was terrified (thanks Dave!) and Ben was in awe.

Saturday didn't start too early as compared to previous years (at least for me). Darin and Matt launched the boat and anchored right off our campsite. The boat was running for most of the day because there were quite a few kids to "service". Thankfully we had enough drivers so that no single person had to spend the day behind the wheel. I think I pulled kids on two outings and took the younger ones out for a "softer" cruise. Still, Matt and Darin got roped in for most of the pilot duty. But I'm jumping ahead!...

One of the kids spied a gorgeous gopher snake cruising just below our campsite (she had to be 4.5 feet long and with beautiful colors) and while we tracked her a bit, she eventually darted into a hole to escape the snake version of "paparazzi" (that would be all of us bipeds). Then later, as the kids were down at the lake and a few were hanging out in the boat another one (presumably) swam right by brother Pat and eventually found the ladder to climb up INTO THE BOAT! Abby was in there, along with Caroline (Joe's oldest) and some other kids. I forget who jumped in and grabbed the snake but a few minutes later Matt's middle son (Ross) was handling it like a bloody snake charmer. Matt's whole family is well-trained in the art of "respect for wildlife" so he was gentle.

Those are really my only two snake stories but after two in just a small period of time, we made sure we looked where we stepped. And in fact, we went on a couple of snake expeditions, hoping to find even bigger and diverse species... no such luck this time.

That's kinda it for Saturday: We spent our time down at the lake and on the boat and yanking kids on this crazy flotation device which I hope to add pictures for later. Oh, we all saw plenty of deer on Saturday, something that absolutely blew me away given our proximity to civilization (we were pretty close). Well, my battery died in my camera on Saturday so I don't have too many pix but am hoping to get some from the other dads to make a more complete representation of things.

Chalking one up for the McDonald family (all four of us boys and our kids and our Dad attended), we had a little astronomy question come into play about what was "that bright thing in the Western sky?". Pat thought it was Venus but another chap figured it was Jupiter. Pat was pretty sure but being older and wiser than me, he left it open to the notion that he could be wrong. Of course, once he got home he checked things out and he was indeed correct. Venus was it and while Jupiter was also visible, it came up later from the East. I hope no one is noticing how I'm riding Pat's coattails on this one...

So after a long day in the sun, we all went down fairly early on Saturday and got up at a reasonable time on Sunday. Most of the time I start packing straight away when I have to leave on that day but I was determined to stay for as long as I could because the kids were having so much fun.

I packed at a leisurely rate, taking breaks to head down to the water and that sort of thing. Joe helped me roll up my tent (Thanks Joe!) which was the last one standing and I packed up most of the stuff in the truck, except for the ice chest, basic food supplies and clothing for my family.

We had some nice boating time and more time in the lake and then it was time to help get the boat trailered up. I went with Matt, along with my kids and we sputtered around for a bit while waiting for our turn at the small launch ramp. Ben got to drive for a few minutes which was nice. We loaded up with a small glitch here and there and then most everyone was off to home. I made my way back to the site with Matt and packed up the rest of our stuff and then hung out at the lake for at least another 90 minutes. Like I said, the kids were having a ball. The Ranger came down to check on us (since we were to be outta there by 2pm and it was now 4pm) but since no one else had reserved the site, he let us hang a bit longer. And so we did.

This was the best year (in my view) for several reasons: Both of my kids are at a manageable age (3 and 5), it was close to home (45 minutes), it was a small group of dads and kids and it was plain mellow. Sure, we were all exhausted by the time we got home but it was a good kind of tired. After 6 years of this group going, we're getting close to perfecting the family-friendly group camping experience.

Thanks again to Darin, Matt and Kent (all master campers) and to everyone else who attended -- Y'all helped make a very good time for me and my family.

Dad's Camping Weekend -- Part 1

Tom — Sun, 03 Jun 2007 20:16:13 -0700

Got back ~5:30pm, fed the kids and got the truck unloaded. I'm going through mail (since there was zero connectivity at the lake) and will crash before too long. I'll post more regarding the details tomorrow... there was so much good stuff and I'm sure you'll all be holding your breath in anticipation for my next update.

This was easily the best "Dads' Camping Weekend" to date (in my view). My next post will describe the deer and snakes as well as the fun boating and the fact that everyone left alive and in general good health; How (or whether) everyone got home could be completely different (I can only take responsibility for so much, you know).

To the shower and to the bed -- Thank you... Good night!

I Hope I Don't Kick Ben In The Face

Tom — Thu, 17 May 2007 10:21:45 -0700

Ben has been making his way into our room several times per night lately and it seems like a dangerous proposition. When something startles me at 3am I don't just slowly lift my head to see what's going on; I sorta kick my legs and feet forward to thrust my torso into an upright position. But if Ben happens to be right where me feet are, well, you can imagine the potential consequence. It really scares the heck out of me, like one day he's gonna get an accidental smack in the nose with the bony feet of someone 5 times his size.

Every once in a while I hear a little noise right next to my face and when I open my eyes it is Ben with his beak right next to my cheek. Again, my instinct is to throw a punch at a figure staring me right in the face as I wake up without warning and the inability to focus on what/who that entity might be. What if it was a burglar or an alien trying to abduct me or a customer who really wants tech support at that very moment? Any of these would require a knuckle sandwich but not my Ben.

I think I need to design a Ben Detection System (BDS) which alerts me to his impending presence and awakens me as he passes through the door from his room. I could be awake enough to make the right decisions. And perhaps another, My Room Threshold Detector (MRTD) so I could perform an immediate If/then/else to determine if I should grab my gun or make space in my bed. Perhaps something like this:

sleep
while(nighttime) do
if(MRTD)
wakupandswing if(!BDS)
end
end
wakeup

Obviously this is just a snippet of Ruby code (via Joe), I'd need to define certain variables and other routines but you get the idea. If only I could implant this into my brain directly. Perhaps I just need to change Ben's PJ's to consist of full Hockey Goalie gear.

We're Getting Soft, America

Tom — Sat, 28 Apr 2007 13:44:48 -0700

Prepare yourself for a meat-filled rant that is guaranteed to knock your socks off! Or maybe it's Tofu. Yeah yeah, if you're a Veggie, I made this from Tofu and if you're a carnivore, this is blood-red meat-filled goodness baby. Well, it's good stuff, okay? Alright!, it's marginal and it's rooted solely in baseless opinion.

My dad sent along one of those messages that contrasts what life is like in America today versus 50 years ago and coupled with my recent reading of the excellent "Can America be saved from Stupid People" by Dave Duffy, I thought I'd toss out a few observations while spewing opinions all over your screen.

Briefly from Dad's note (what 50 years can do):
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Scenario: Jack pulls into school parking lot with rifle in gun rack.

1956 - Vice Principal comes over, takes a look at Jack's rifle, goes to his car and gets his to show Jack.

2006 - School goes into lockdown, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Perhaps we're more "enlightened" now and realize that all gun owners are psychopaths or just plain toothless hillbilly wannabes. Or perhaps, just maybe, the very few with the loudest voices and plenty of cabbage have been successful in trying to disarm the people of this country; It's a crucial step to enslavement, you know. While Diane Feinstein "champions" stricter gun control she also has a permit to carry a concealed weapon, something I couldn't get unless I planned on changing jobs. In HER view, *I* don't need to carry a concealed weapon, but SHE does. Is her human life any more important than mine? SHE feels like she's in constant danger and needs a gun on her person. But she's certain that mine is not needed or that I couldn't possibly possess the skills to carry such a thing responsibly. And even if I could, there *might* be an accident with my gun -- Better to just keep that shit away from me, for everyone's sake.

How did this occur? How have we changed so much over the last 50 years? Certainly the pervasiveness of TV and 24 hour news channels has contributed. A 60 second spot highlighting an accidental shooting by a boy upon his friend horrifies people who immediately become ready to support legislation for tighter gun control. Even though more kids die of drowning in shallow buckets of water each year than do by accidental shootings, we see gun laws tightened while no action is taken against those perilous pales.

Thousands of laws have been passed now which restrict our freedom. I cannot legally walk across the street to my neighbor's place with a cracked-open beer to say hey and shoot the breeze; That would be drinking in public and a legitimate reason to be hassled by the cops. They rarely do such a thing but it actually happened to me. I wasn't walking around town with an open case of beer, I cracked my first beer of the day and was two houses away from my own place when a 20-something cop decided to hassle me and eventually have me pour out my beer in the street.

Perhaps the beer incident doesn't seem like much on the surface but the very real and terrifying implication is, the cop could sit there and interrogate me and worse because of a stupid law which was probably "sold" on the notion that if it didn't exist we'd see the streets flooded with drunks while beer bottles rolled in the street. We've just given the omnipotent (the government) the power to silence us.

What if I began taking an active dissenting view and the government didn't like what I was saying? Guess what... there are enough "laws" on the books to ensure that I'm breaking one of them at any given time. It is [virtually] impossible to exist in this country while in the pursuit of happiness without breaking *some* law, so you are *always* at risk.

"Don't be afraid of wire tapping because if you're not doing anything wrong you don't have anything to be worried about". We're ALL doing something wrong on most days, as far as the law is concerned. And so the oppression begins, because you have to stay "under the radar" or risk being hassled (interrupting your pursuit of happiness), fined, jailed or worse. Opining with dissent becomes an extremely risky business.

In China any dissenting voices found are jailed or otherwise "handled". They don't give the people the right to vote on things so they can get away with it. What we're doing now (and have been over the last 75 years) is actually *consenting* to allow the same things to occur to ourselves. "Nah!, you're overblowing it Tom", is what I hear sometimes. We have the highest incarceration rate of any "free" country in the world... why is that? Most (most!) of those in jail are not there for committing crimes which affect others, they're in there for having 'weed' (or some other drug) and are there because they broke the law, one that was put in place because, "if we let folks smoke weed, one of them MIGHT get behind the wheel of a bus and crash into a bunch of people". I say fuck that shit! Let them be and if someone does crash into a bunch of people, THEN jam their ass into a prison cell; Or a coffin for all I care. We're incarcerating people for doing things that MIGHT put them in a position to POSSIBLY do something wrong. Preventative jailing. Nice.

We've gotten soft, folks -- We've gotten stupid too. We need to fire the people on Capitol Hill and put reps in there who want to keep this the "Land of the Free". It's not because I want to smoke weed or carry a beer across the street; It's because I want to be able to tell the government that they suck when they do and not worry about being jailed because of it, due to some [very well planned] loophole in the legal system.

How has this happened? It seems very simple to me: Giveaways! Those who would enslave us (Asses and Elephants alike) would never be voted into office on the basis of pure restriction as a platform. They play to the largest group of people (those with less) and promise to GIVE them some of the stuff from the smallest group of people (those with more). It's a dizzying and irresistible pheromone to much of the population. Let's face it, work is HARD and the notion of getting something for "free" has quite an allure to it. Of course, it's not "free", it's bundled with freedom-removing action too. If you want those giveaways you're gonna have to deal with rights that they plan on removing from you. But those details are buried in small print while the "fun", "freebie" stuff is overstated, restated, stated again and yet again, just to be sure you got the message about the "free" stuff. If I didn't make it clear... "Vote for me for more FREE!".

We need to resist the sugar and vote for people who give two shits about us and our rights. I'm talking about rights for which thousands upon thousands have sacrificed. I'm talking about the serious "Give me Liberty or give me death!" cries from those who came before us from whom this land has been endowed. America was once GREAT; It had heart and people bled to keep it free. During WWII people wailed and agonized over the loss of their sons and daughters; They fell to their knees with inconsolable grief; They replayed the memories of their children in their heads and found solace ONLY in knowledge that what they had given up gave allowance to the rest of them; And all of us who would follow. Folks: We're pissing that away. It's shameful.